IF YOU WERE TO TAKE A SHOT FOR

• every time Percy has a witty comeback
• every time Percy is confused
• every time Annabeth has to explain a Greek monster to Percy
• every time Percy does something totally bad-a but gets zero recognition for it
• every time someone who’s not Percy finds Percy cool and attractive
• every time a god/titan wants to kill Percy
• every time a god/titan fails epically at killing Percy

YOU’D DIE.

WHEN CAMELIA ENDED UP WITH GUY-WHO-IS-NOT-BEN.

Okay, fine. I know his name. Adam. Whatever.

The fact of the matter is, we all sat there shaking our heads at the end of the book while she and Adam canoodled, thinking, You know, you’re just going to break his heart more when you end up with Ben in the end.

And she will.

Right?

HOORAY! WILL’S CURSE IS FAKE! WHICH MEANS HE AND TESSA CAN FINALLY—Oh, wait.

We were all relieved to learn that Will Herondale was ready for some lovin’, but horrified once we realized two things: 1) the timing for Tessa always completely SUCKS, and 2) Cassandra Clare likes to make us all suffer.

UM…PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE THING.

Despite the big triumph at the end, which was fantastic, I think we can all agree that this book was a long series of you thinking to yourself, All right, things are going to get better….NOW. Okay, now. No, wait, NOW…NOW…

Plus, Celia not magically turning into a human again to reunite with her Whit? Not cool, James P. You’d better make up for your meanness with an awesome final Max Ride book.

KILL ALL THE BROTHERS!

It was bad enough when Metias was killed, but Day’s brother just flinging himself into the fire like that? Heart-wrenching. Oh, and let’s not forget the bullet to his MOM’S HEAD.

THE ENDING.

Not because the ending was actually sad, but because as readers, we were not cool with the “‘KAY, BYE!“‘s that were exchanged between the major characters. So Arya comes to terms with her feelings for Eragon and then they just part ways like awkward strangers?

In short? WE ARE NOT SATISFIED.

WHEN KY AND CASSIA PARTED WAYS…AGAIN.

Ky, Cassia, usually the problem with teenagers in love is no one can keep ‘em off each other.

Can you guys be NOT SEPARATED for more than five seconds? 

WHEN ETHAN JUMPED OFF THE WATER TOWER, AND ALL THE FANGIRLS DIED INSIDE.

Ethan Wate is one of my absolute favorite characters of all time, and a top-ten fictional crush. So when it was revealed he was “The One Who is Two,” it felt like I was going to fall to pieces. And I didn’t. Not until he wrote one last time on Lena’s wall, anyway. Then I fell apart.

AKA “LET’S KILL OFF ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!”

First it was Newt. That was terrible enough. I kept telling myself that things would get better, because Thomas would eventually end up with Teresa, my other favorite character.

Then James Dashner decided my happiness wasn’t important.

READY FOR THE PERCABETH REUNION? LOL JK, WAIT A YEAR.

The entire book was fantastic, but fans pretty much ripped out their hair upon finding out we’d have to wait a full year for the reunion between Percy and Annabe—I mean, uh, the meeting between the Greeks and Romans.

THE AWKARD MOMENT WHEN THERE’S NO FOURTH BOOK…

The saddest thing about this trilogy is that it ended. And it ended, we the readers declare, far too soon. 

Not that we’re not happy that Alec finally rubbed his eyes and realized Dylan was a Deryn, or that the two FINALLY closed that ridiculous space between them, but Scott Westerfeld, if you can make a pointless addition to the Uglies series like Extras, then you can sure as heck make a fourth book to this series. Call it Barking Spiders! for all we care. Just…don’t let it end like this!

WHEN WE READ THAT LAST CHUNK WHERE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE ARE JUST DYING ALL OVER THE PLACE.

You think you’ve made it out of this book without a scratch…no tear, no sobbing, even after all that emotional stress it puts you through.

Then the final chapters come. Tissue?

WHEN DYLAN STILL EXISTS.

Look, you guys can all have your beef with Fang for leaving Max, whatever, but this blond birdy’s got to go. Dylan has been a flat character since he was introduced in Fang, and I am THIS CLOSE to writing a fanfiction and killing him off myself. And I HATE fanfiction.

Props to James Patterson for reeling the story back in to the high-action awesomeness it used to be (prior to the mess that are books 4-6,) but please do something in this last book to patch everything up. WE WANT FANG BACK WHERE HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE. WITH. THE. GOSH. DARN. FLOCK.

WHEN ALEX DIDN’T LEAVE WITH LENA.

When I read this part, I thought I heard a million readers’ hearts crash to the bottom of their stomachs. Because we know what happens when the male lead steps off the scene for a while.

He makes room for Mister Third Point Of The Love Triangle That Will Most Likely Occur. I am hoping with every cell in my body that doesn’t happen.

Oh, and that Alex doesn’t get killed or become a loveless slave, either. That wouldn’t be good.